can't explain...

at this point, i don't know if i love or hate what i do. there are moments, blips, scenes mottled together. i see myself sitting through istep testing this week....hate. i saw how i taught 10 kids how to prepare their own dinner....love. this list could go on forever.

i'm looking into grad schools. not for next year, but the next. i don't know how i feel about that quite yet. i'm nervous of another year in mental health...or some other job that requires me to show up on time to maintain employment. i want to work in schools. i want to help the kids that fall behind. it's such a taxing test of love and irritation, but it's where i should be.

we're in the south bend area [mishawaka]. again...i love there are more things to do, but hate that we can never decide on one. i love that there are more people, but hate that the crime rate is outrageous. i love that jon is getting his career in line, but hate that i rarely see him when i'm home. i love that i help people as part of my employment, but hate that i have to drive an hour there and back to have a drink, read a book, or take a nap...all of which were 5 minutes away when we were on chapman lake.

even though i'm undecided on how/where/when things will change, i am in no way stressed or out of sorts. i'm just dealing with it. and that's all i ask right now...to have the patience and understanding to just deal with it.

i can only hope the same for you...

sb, hwc.

jon got a job!
he will be a production assistant/editor at
whme channel 46/the jesus channel in south bend.
it's an excuse for me to find a new job,
not that there are many out there.
we don't know exactly where/when we'll be moving....
but it finally happened.

south bend, here we come.

we're at a weird place.
quarter life crisis...?
i guess it's not much of a crisis....just a lull.
when will things start falling into place?

i'm really starting to feel the burden of a dead end job.
we've been waiting for something to come through since last summer.
i find it hard to believe we've been in warsaw this long.

we're doing fine....it's just that i want something new.
...somewhere new.
but it doesn't matter what i want.
we'll be put where we need to be.
all in the matter of [immeasurable] time.

i'm tired of hearing people come and go when i'm stuck inside.

...............bleeblahblue.

we're coming to muncie this friday.
hopefully we'll see some people....(we miss you guys!)
or make a trip to the heorot.

saturday, we're headed to indy for a job fair and a potential to eat lunch with me best friend in the world. i really hope we get the chance to see some other lovelies whilst down south.

let me know what you guys are up to.

wtf.

dear xanga,

stop trying to be like facebook/wordpress.
you already had a good thing going.
good things have just gone and bastardized themselves lately.

meghan.